i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
