The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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