I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
