Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
