Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
