doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
