Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
