so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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