Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
