I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize