I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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