No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
