I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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