we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
