every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize