Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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