Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
