Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
