The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
