Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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