Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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