Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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