The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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