The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
