I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
