moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
