i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
