Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
