I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
