I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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