We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize