Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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