she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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