so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
