i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
