it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this boner is exhausting
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
