i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
