Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
