3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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