she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize