I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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