I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
