Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
