I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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