I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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