So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you never un-have a 4some
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
