If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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