dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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