I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
