smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
