he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
