you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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