In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just tell him i said nine months
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
