Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
