drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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