she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
