GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
