I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
