1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize