Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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