why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She even gives head with a lisp.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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